Hope

1.2 Miles   1.2 Miles High

 

Super damn excited!! I was on the internet looking up relay triathlons and came across the Alcatraz swim. 1.5 miles, not too bad...in MARCH...yea no thanks! So I started looking for events closer to home, swim across Donner sounds fun...oh man, 2.7 miles. I'm not quite there yet! SO I came across this event. And I immediately got nervous. I wanted to do it. I wanted to do it bad! I enjoy swimming, but I'm no spring chicken, I'm not going to be diving off any blocks in a swim meet any time soon. I don't want to compete. But I felt the NEED to get myself into this event. And not only this event but this sport. Open water swimming is right up my alley! I'm doing a practice swim end of August, a half mile swim in Tahoe to somewhat prepare myself. I'm scared. and I'm so so so so excited. Jason is too, he has made many comments about wishing I ran so he could cheer me on like I do to his ultra marathons. I did not join this because he wanted me to, but I'm glad he is so excited too! This will give me something to look forward to, something to train for, something to DO. Do for me.

 

And I'm pleased and nervous to say that we have orders for an infertility specialist. Sad that I am unable to get pregnant on my own (with Jason's help of course haha) but looking forward to what this will bring. Hopefully some answers. I was to the point where I wanted all baby items gone, I didn't want to look at the swing or the crib or the BAGS of clothes from Kylee. I was falling into a loss of hope. So now, I feel like now that the VA has passed me on to someone who deals with this thing everyday that I can get some answers. And honestly, I don't know how many people will believe me, but I'm OK with one kid. If I am unable to have any more then I will be ok. Sad, yes. Heartbroken, no. Alyssa will grow up with cousins galore and with her own room ;) I can keep the office and we really have no need for a big SUV or new house. We will be fine. But to get that answer will release me from this year + of every month hoping then getting let down. If I know, a final NO. Then I can move on. I'm scared that's what the answer will be....but optimistic that it is not! I feel like something happened when I got the polyp that led to the emergency C-section, either the polyp led to scar tissue which is blocking something, or I grew another one...SOMETHING is wrong, and I will find it and we will get pregnant and Alyssa will be a great big sister :) So I'm beginning to be hopeful again. Its a good feeling. Hope.

April Showers Brings May Flowers

Chelsea invited us to celebrate a potty training success for Keegan at this indoor trampoline place...so damn fun!!! Keegan and Lily and Alyssa and Kylee kept up with the big kids and I think its safe to say, we all had tired kids when heading home!

 

I'm 31!! We had cousin dinner at our place the Friday before my birthday so I decided to be out of character and kinda make a little big deal out of it. Really I just made a cake :) But it was fun! Cousin dinner was a success. I LOVE LOVE LOVE getting the kids together and watching them all interact. Alyssa basically kept Mickey and Marie (her two new toys from Disney Store) captive and wouldn't let the others play with them...ah, the stubborn personality is starting to break through.

 

The Sunday of my birthday was the annual Kite Festival. It was funny watching Jason running around trying to fly a  kite while Alyssa just kinda picked flowers haha. Not really windy.

 

Date night for both our birthdays. A new little gem in the ultra hip 'Midtown' called Picasso and Wine. We have been wanting to do something new and this fit the bill. It was fun experiment and see how competitive Jason really is! We picked Alyssa up from the airport and headed home. (First time leaving Alyssa for Katie to put her down to bed. I was having major separation anxiety and had to peek in to see her before we all crashed.

 

Alyssa turns 2!! Super fun party, I have been planning for awhile. The whole party was a blur. I now know why people pay to have their party somewhere. I was so exhausted! My feet hurt and I don't think I was able to visit with anyone, running around to make sure the food was getting prepared, making sure someone was keeping an eye on Lyss, and trying to refill the snacks...its a handful! I'm so thankful for my folks letting us have the event at their house and for the majority of the cleanup!

 

School is almost done!! Never in my life have I had to work so hard to pass! All my other classes, if I don't really pay attention I can get a C. Accounting is making me work my ass off to earn that C!! Bleh. I need a 70% on the final to move on to the next course...so fingers crossed and I better get back to studying ;)