Poppyseed to Prune

So it all began with the VA NOT doing a procedure that I was super super nervous about. My doc saw my charts and scheduled me for an endometrial biopsy to make sure my uterus lining was 'in phase'. Meaning it was reacting the way it was supposed to be reacting in the time frame that I was scheduled. The part that scared me...other than having part of my uterus scraped out...was that IF I had conceived that cycle then there was a chance of miscarriage. Now in hindsight I can see why I was so nervous...but then it was just this scary procedure that would begin some invasive tests that may or may not help me in getting pregnant. So I go in at 7 days post ovulation and question that it was too early (everything I read online said it needs to be done at 10-12 days post ovulation) My doctor sad yea, it was too early. (BTW, negative blood test that day...knowing it was too early) So I go back in that Friday at 10 DPO and get another negative blood test but I get news from my doc that she is not going to do that procedure and instead is referring me to a specialist. So I'm pumped...I'm excited that I can see someone who deals with this crap everyday and I was optimistic!! That weekend I had a bit of wine (and by a bit...I mean a lot) and enjoy the sun and pool and the feeling of something is going forward with this process and I am going to get answers soon! My period was due Sunday. Nothing happens. I'm still charting and my temps are still high so I figure Ill wait a bit. Monday temps still high. Tuesday, I check my past charts and do an overlay function and see that this cycle my temps are higher for longer than any other cycle...and still no period!! So I figure what the hell and Ill pee on my last expensive First Response Early Response tests. I go out to start the coffee and turn on Mickey Mouse for Alyssa and open the blinds...totally forgot about my test. I go back into the bathroom and glaringly positive test is waiting for me!!

 I did a few fist pumps, stared at it a little longer, let out a few quick sobs and then got serious! How the hell was I going to tell Jason?? I had not mentioned anything period related in weeks so he had no clue I was late, or even suspected pregnancy. So I knew it was a great time to surprise him. My mom was already coming over that day to tell me what trees and plants I could start chopping down in the back yard so I handed the test to Alyssa and told her to show Grammy. That was cute! She cried...I cried. Aw... Anyways, for Jason I came up with a big obvious sign for our front door :)

 

A few weeks later I began to spot a little. Light brown, no crams no red blood. But it scared me...I kept an eye on it for a few days knowing that if I was going to lose the baby then there was really nothing to be done. By Monday I called Dr. Dekay just to let them know and he had me come in for an ultrasound to check things out. The babe was fine! This first ultrasound is at 6 weeks and 6 days. We didn't get to hear the heartbeat (Dr kept picking up mine) but we saw the flicker and Dr said it was a perfectly viable pregnancy and to keep my appointment in two weeks to go over everything else, the real first appointment.

 

 

Doc said to do no exercise and no sex for the next two weeks and to take it easy. I did not argue ;) So after the first early ultrasound and seeing the heartbeat we felt comfortable telling the cousins at 4th of July (cuz really, me not drinking on a holiday is kind of unheard of) and I came up with a fun plan to spill the beans! During the kids couch photo I handed Alyssa the sonogram picture and wanted to say 'Oh wait, one more" but just never got it out. It was a success and I think its safe to say that everyone is excited!! The next appointment we got to discuss a lot things that I had been wondering about, including deciding on a scheduled C section or attempting a VBAC. I'm leaning towards the section but I'm keeping my options open for the VBAC. I don't feel like I missed out on real birth or anything with Alyssa and I see the risks to both sides so we will continue to discuss it. The race. Doc says swimming is great (duh) but he is worried about the temperature of the water in Tahoe with how far along I will be (almost 19 weeks) and suggested either a wetsuit or to just not do it. So I'm going to get back in the pool and keep swimming and just see how I feel as the race gets closer. I don't own a wetsuit so I will have to figure that part out! Anyways, the good stuff...baby was growing like crazy in the last two weeks and now has a huge head and a fast heart rate of 177bpm :) I'm a happy momma!

 

Jenn and Ollie came up for a few days and that was fun getting the kids together...all those pictures are on my phone so I'm unsure how to get them on here...anyways, it was a good trip and Alyssa LOVES the beach and water. She has NO fear.

I cannot wait to see her interact with a sibling :) So so so excited!!

Hope

1.2 Miles   1.2 Miles High

 

Super damn excited!! I was on the internet looking up relay triathlons and came across the Alcatraz swim. 1.5 miles, not too bad...in MARCH...yea no thanks! So I started looking for events closer to home, swim across Donner sounds fun...oh man, 2.7 miles. I'm not quite there yet! SO I came across this event. And I immediately got nervous. I wanted to do it. I wanted to do it bad! I enjoy swimming, but I'm no spring chicken, I'm not going to be diving off any blocks in a swim meet any time soon. I don't want to compete. But I felt the NEED to get myself into this event. And not only this event but this sport. Open water swimming is right up my alley! I'm doing a practice swim end of August, a half mile swim in Tahoe to somewhat prepare myself. I'm scared. and I'm so so so so excited. Jason is too, he has made many comments about wishing I ran so he could cheer me on like I do to his ultra marathons. I did not join this because he wanted me to, but I'm glad he is so excited too! This will give me something to look forward to, something to train for, something to DO. Do for me.

 

And I'm pleased and nervous to say that we have orders for an infertility specialist. Sad that I am unable to get pregnant on my own (with Jason's help of course haha) but looking forward to what this will bring. Hopefully some answers. I was to the point where I wanted all baby items gone, I didn't want to look at the swing or the crib or the BAGS of clothes from Kylee. I was falling into a loss of hope. So now, I feel like now that the VA has passed me on to someone who deals with this thing everyday that I can get some answers. And honestly, I don't know how many people will believe me, but I'm OK with one kid. If I am unable to have any more then I will be ok. Sad, yes. Heartbroken, no. Alyssa will grow up with cousins galore and with her own room ;) I can keep the office and we really have no need for a big SUV or new house. We will be fine. But to get that answer will release me from this year + of every month hoping then getting let down. If I know, a final NO. Then I can move on. I'm scared that's what the answer will be....but optimistic that it is not! I feel like something happened when I got the polyp that led to the emergency C-section, either the polyp led to scar tissue which is blocking something, or I grew another one...SOMETHING is wrong, and I will find it and we will get pregnant and Alyssa will be a great big sister :) So I'm beginning to be hopeful again. Its a good feeling. Hope.

April Showers Brings May Flowers

Chelsea invited us to celebrate a potty training success for Keegan at this indoor trampoline place...so damn fun!!! Keegan and Lily and Alyssa and Kylee kept up with the big kids and I think its safe to say, we all had tired kids when heading home!

 

I'm 31!! We had cousin dinner at our place the Friday before my birthday so I decided to be out of character and kinda make a little big deal out of it. Really I just made a cake :) But it was fun! Cousin dinner was a success. I LOVE LOVE LOVE getting the kids together and watching them all interact. Alyssa basically kept Mickey and Marie (her two new toys from Disney Store) captive and wouldn't let the others play with them...ah, the stubborn personality is starting to break through.

 

The Sunday of my birthday was the annual Kite Festival. It was funny watching Jason running around trying to fly a  kite while Alyssa just kinda picked flowers haha. Not really windy.

 

Date night for both our birthdays. A new little gem in the ultra hip 'Midtown' called Picasso and Wine. We have been wanting to do something new and this fit the bill. It was fun experiment and see how competitive Jason really is! We picked Alyssa up from the airport and headed home. (First time leaving Alyssa for Katie to put her down to bed. I was having major separation anxiety and had to peek in to see her before we all crashed.

 

Alyssa turns 2!! Super fun party, I have been planning for awhile. The whole party was a blur. I now know why people pay to have their party somewhere. I was so exhausted! My feet hurt and I don't think I was able to visit with anyone, running around to make sure the food was getting prepared, making sure someone was keeping an eye on Lyss, and trying to refill the snacks...its a handful! I'm so thankful for my folks letting us have the event at their house and for the majority of the cleanup!

 

School is almost done!! Never in my life have I had to work so hard to pass! All my other classes, if I don't really pay attention I can get a C. Accounting is making me work my ass off to earn that C!! Bleh. I need a 70% on the final to move on to the next course...so fingers crossed and I better get back to studying ;)

Trying to stay on top of it

Between school, Jason's running events and Alyssa's activities, I'm trying to stay sane!! We are really homebodies. Don't like to get out much, really enjoy each others company (most days lol) and LOVE our couch. But it doesn't seem this way haha, we have been so busy! Easter Sunday the in-laws came up to celebrate with us, weather didn't hold up so we could 'hide' the eggs on the front lawn, but Lyss had a good time anyways. We didn't really do anything last year so this year it was fun to put her in some cute dresses and put jelly bean filled eggs around the house. She would grab an egg, shake it to make sure it had goodies in it then dump all the beans onto the hope chest to make sure they were all ok. It was a relaxing visit with Jason's parents and sister. I put together a gluten free pizza station and we all made our own pizzas.

Jason had his second 50 mile race last weekend. So we got a nice hotel room in Sacto and made a little trip of it. He started at Sac State and ended in Auburn! His parents took Alyssa and I to lunch and shopping to pass the time, Lyss made out like a bandit. My 'pick one' rule didn't fly at all!!

 At the half way mark, in Beals Point in Granite Bay, Jason picked up his sister to pace him the last 24 miles. Lyss was a great cheerleader :)

 He did amazing, dropped 3 hours from his last 50 mile race! It was a crazy long day and we were super happy to get home...just in time for Matty and Izzy's birthday party the next day!

 

School is kicking my ass. I'm doing fine. Really. But in my head, I'm failing. My finance class and my supply chain management classes I have over a 95% so far. So I really shouldn't be too worried about those two. My history of economics class is a handful, with papers, presentations and essays galore!! But I still am pulling a B. Accounting. Well, accounting takes a separate mindset. I don't feel like I can just get by, I feel like I have to KNOW everything, and I don't. So I feel farther behind than I really am. Its hard to separate that class as important and brush off the others. Only 4 more weeks until I'm safe for the summer!! And 12 credits left until I graduate. That means after next semester I only have 2 semesters left!!

 

Jason's dad got us an unbelievable gift, he is paying for our monthly membership to Caughlin Ranch club, with a year round heated pool and a childcare that is so nice! I have been twice so far, my body is thanking me for swimming, but its hard to just let go and not worry about Alyssa while I'm swimming. Its good for us both to have this time away. She has never stayed with someone other than family, so its been a rough couple days. But she will get used to it. Hopefully.

 

Sibling number 2. Well, no baby for Christmas. I decided to go hard core with OPK and I bought a saliva fertility tester just to show my doctor at my appointment in May, prove to her that we are doing all we can. With any luck Ill be preggo before my appointment :) January is  a nice month to give birth! That way I have a full 8 months before leaving the kids to go back to my last 2 semesters of school!!

Girls Gone Wild

Swim lessons start! The whole pool heard the loud and super excited "WAAAWAAA" echoing through the building as she points at the pool. Yes dear :) Thats the water.

Needless to say, she loves it! She is a typical 2 year old though so she has a hard time with doing what she is supposed to be doing, as opposed to whatever the hell she wants to do...but for the most part she is doing great!

 ROAD Trip!! Spring Break quickly approached (um, schools almost over??) and my mom, Aunt Deb, Alyssa and I headed off to Vegas to meet up for some  yard shopping and a general girls trip. I was nervous for Alyssa (she doesn't have the best driving personality) but I was excited enough for us both, I went to Walmart and filled a little tote bag full of little toys and games to surprise her with and it was a hit. She seriously did not fuss at all, I repeat did NOT fuss. She sang and played and entertained herself the whole trip. Oh and No nap. She has never liked her car seat and the last few trips to visit in Vacaville she has not slept so I was worried, but she did great. So proud of my little stinker :) Showing off for Aunt Deb so she wont rat her out to Lily haha. The night we got into Vegas we met Jenn and Ollie for dinner at a Mexican place and both kids played while the adults chatted. We snagged some booze before checking into the hotel. I should have taken pictures of the room!! It was a 2 bedroom suite, so Lyss and I shared a room and Deb and mom shared, each with our own bathrooms and a full living room and kitchen set up. We were able to let the kid nap and not bother her (or her bothering us really haha) and it was our little home away from home.

 Day 1. Had to check out Little Baja for Deb to see if she found the perfect fountain, and she did! Lyss liked getting shuttled around and she kept running from fountain to fountain sticking her head under the water then shouting "WAAWAA". 

 Hotel had a pool and I, of course, forgot Alyssa's swimsuit and her swimmer diapers, but she didn't mind one bit.

 Ollie showed off to Alyssa, swimming around like a total pro.

 Day 2. We headed out to Boulder City to see an outside decor place that Deb has been to, I was in heaven!! So many pretty things, I bought new wall art for the front of my house, a beautiful butterfly trellis and a potted plant structure full of bright pink flowers. (Alyssa got ahold of my camera and the pictures I took are super blurry). Being so close to the Hoover Dam, I was determined to go!! I have never been, so we took the 10 minute drive and headed over. Such a huge process, the new bridge going to Arizona was so impressive. I'm a happy girl. Love getting to experience these things for the first time with my daughter.

The road home. Again, NO meltdowns, and no nap. Darn, but she did so well and was so dang excited to see her DADA, after unloading all the treasures and packing up my Jeep, all I heard from Nono's house to our house was "DADADADA" "I LOVE DADA" (or something that sounds like that haha) and singing. Such a damn trooper.

I love little vacations but was excited to hear that we have 2 full weekends 'off' before heading to Sacramento to see Jason run his 2nd 50 mile race (yes MILES) Sacramento area to Auburn.

No other news on the sibling for Lyss area, still charting, still trying. It is what it is :)

And we are all anxiously waiting for the newest little one, who should make his appearance any day!! Don't stress too much Mal ;) Love you guys! Cant wait to hold a newborn again, its been too long.