Only one day.

One day to pout. One day of pity party and one day to wonder 'When is it my turn?'. Then move on. Move on to cycle number 9 of trying for number 2. Cycle 9 of hope and thinking positively that this month is my month. This month will work! My super awesome and unwelcome period showed up on Christmas day. Bleh. I knew it was coming, I had been testing negative all week, but I held out hope. And that's what hurts the most. The hope that comes crashing down when you get the definite NOPE. Not this time. Maybe next month. And I'm glad that people know that we are trying again for a sibling, but the 'oh, it'll happen' and the 'whats taking so long' are getting old. So next month I'm starting back up with temping and Ill still use the OPKs but I only have one preggo test so guess who is NOT testing early?? That's right...ME :) I'm gonna be a good girl and wait it out.

So this year we got a white Christmas!! I'm so in love with this season and will spend an entire snow storm just looking out my window watching the flakes fall. Alyssa would even curl up next to me and watch, like she knew. She was not actually a fan of the snow. She took a few steps into it and then just started freaking out because everywhere she stepped would be white, she couldn't get out of it. She was much better once I shoveled.

Christmas Eve was so so much fun! It was awesome last year, watching the kids, but this year, they are ALL mobile and getting into stuff. They are really getting to an age where they can feel the excitement. I'm a happy momma! Alyssa got to open one present on Xmas Eve before the big party and she chose what turned out to be a latch board. She loved it!! (And no, she doesn't like to wear clothes now haha, she was the nekkid kid for a while at the party too...gotta pick your battles)



 

Watching my parents with their grand kids just melts my heart! I realize that I may be affected by having Alyssa, but really, the whole family gained her in their lives!

 

Couch photos are entertaining now, the big kids don't wanna sit still anymore! 

 

I hosted Christmas morning for the Falls side, and it was so mice! Everyone got an actual seat with the addition of our new couch! The whole gang just relaxed and ate and opened presents. Such a nice holiday with a low key family visit. And it ended with more snow!! 

 

Next weekend we get to go to Vacaville to visit the in-laws. We missed last weekend because of the snow storm (THANKS!!)

 

 

And FUNNY...From last years...Resolutions...

 

Happy New Year :)
Well shit...just for fun...how about some resolutions?

1. Lose 20 lbs
2. Put sod in the front yard
3. Get knocked up
4. STAY IN SCHOOL
5. Drink more water
6. Drink less wine
7. Walk the dogs more

I guess two out of the 7 isnt bad!! Ill give you a hint, its not number 1, 3, 5, 6, or 7 ;)

Patience

Family pictures! Damn kid wouldn't really participate, didn't want to sit and smile. We did get a few great shots so it was worth it...

 

 

 

 

 

Went to Vegas for Ollie's 3rd birthday! I was so damn nervous. I knew that for a short trip flying would be so much better. Plus I know that once Lyss turns 2 I have to buy her butt her own seat so we took advantage of only buying one ticket and Lyss and I were off! I packed super light, read all the advice i could find online for flying with a toddler and prepared myself a best as I could. It was rough. Luckily the flights were both not full so I had an extra seat, but holy cow. This child did not want to sit in my lap for anything! Take off she cried for about 8 minutes until we leveled off and I let her down again, and landing I just kinda held her arm so she didn't hit the seat or anything so that was smooth. The flight attendants on the way home were not as nice and asked me to hold her cuz she 'cant just be free in the cabin'. Like i was reading a book paying no attention to her. I pretty much always had a hand on her arm or back of her pants to make sure if we hit turbulence then I could pull her to me. Oh man, I doubt Ill be flying with this age for a long time! Cant wait until she enjoys movies and tablets so she is content to just sit and be entertained. The trip itself was super fun, visiting with Jenn and Ollie was much needed! It was a short trip but well worth it :)

 

The weekend after Vegas we drove over to Vacaville to spend Thanksgiving with the Riddle family. We got to spend some quality time with Aunt Stacie before she flew off to India and spend the evening with Keri and Maddy...they are so much fun :)

Still working on having baby #2...and the more time that passes makes me realize how BIG of a decision it is, to expand your family. Its so...important. Its so...HUGE!! Having the first baby was such an easy decision, lets have a kid! OK! But with 2, I'm thinking about how Alyssa will react, how I will fit 2 in my Jeep, how I will handle bedtime, the things I will do differently with the second. Theses last few months have really settled me down and made me realize that I'm not too worried about when the next one will come. I will enjoy Alyssa and Jason and our little house and not stress about something that isn't even here yet. (Even though the crib is already set up in the 'nursery'/office/exercise room.)

And a HUGE congrats to Mal and Josh on their newest addition!! The family took a slight breather after Izabelle was born but come March a new babe will be joining us :) So so so excited...I cant wait to be a few months behind them with our next! But after this...I think someone else needs to join in the fun *cough Danae, Rory *cough

Who would have thought??

We got Alyssa her very own twin size big girl bed! Its a milestone Ive been looking forward to so that I can set her room up into an actual little girls room instead of a thrown together nursery. The mattress and box spring were way too high so I kinda rigged it and put the box spring just on the floor and its at a much more realistic height now. So far the bed is a novelty, all her stuffies are on it and she uses the crib as leverage to climb up, but then, and this is the shocking part, she doesn't get off! I know she can climb down but she doesn't. I'm seriously shocked. We haven't tried naps or sleeping on it yet, maybe this weekend when there is no class the next day. But I'm excited to get that crib out of her room and to decorate for my big girl :)

 

 

 

And the booger has figured out that her step stool is a very useful tool :)

 

Catching up...life is cruising at top speed!

Wow, I feel like last weekend was Alyssa's first birthday. Not 4 months ago! She is 16 months now and growing into a pretty feisty girl :) Everyday brings something new, her teeth make her super cranky but most the time she is a golden child. We dropped the baba from naps and bedtime and she now sleeps through her one morning wake up. I think after about 3 days of no baba, she was like 'why am I awake??" So she now gives us about 12 hours. 8:30 to 8:30! Works for me!

We never really stopped 'trying' for number 2, we just realized it probably wouldn't happen. The anti-inflammatory I am on are considered a no-no for trying to conceive but mostly what I read up on them is that it delays ovulation and makes it harder to implant. So the last couple months have been a bit less stress. I still am crossing my fingers for this month, but I'm starting to get cramping and PMS symptoms so I'm sure my dear Aunt flo will show up soon. Oh well, I have a doctors appt tomorrow to follow up from my urgent care visit and I'm hoping she gives me some new pills that I can take freely while trying to get preggo :)

This summer has been a total blur and I was side swiped by school starting! I wasn't ready to go back :( Boo!! Lol, but its not too bad, I have 2 online classes and 2 classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays so its not too much time away from home and Alyssa. Still super stoked on Accounting and I love my statistics class. I love how numbers are black and white. No grey area!! I feel like after 12 years out of high school I finally figured out what I want to do.

We started Alyssa in gymnastics class and holy crap she took to it like she was born to flip! She has been three times and already does somersaults around the house now. I get to watch from upstairs as Jason trys to keep her in control. The trampoline is her weak spot, she just runs up and down it, not jumping. Just staying out of dads reach haha.

Next weekend is Jason and my second anniversary trip. WITHOUT Alyssa. I'm sad! I have never left her before for more that one day for school. Never over night. So it will be fun, have some drinks, relax in nature, hike, ride bikes. Have some alone time ;) I'm excited! And Jason has no idea where we are going. It will be a nice trip.

And hopefully by the next weekend we can get our sod delivered!! The last steps is getting some topsoil delivered to make prime foundation for a healthy lawn and we will not be the shitty landscaped house on our street anymore :) Super excited.

Taking a breather

Its no big secret that we want more kids. We even started trying for #2 a few months ago...obviously it didn't work. So as I kept positive and had happy thoughts, my back pain got worse and worse. I even made a doctors appointment....the earliest one was 3 months out! Gotta love the military. Anyways, so I bought some ovulation predictor strips and we timed our baby dance PERFECTLY...and the day after my period showed I went in to urgent care and got xrays taken and put on some pain meds that are a no no for a babe. So Im kinda sad. I know that we dont have to wait more than a few months and I can now walk through the grocery store without having to stop and sit down mid-aisle because of my back pain and hopefully after my September appointment I can get on baby friendly drugs and start trying for a sibling for Alyssa! So the x-ray showed that I have what is called rotoscoliosis. Meaning the connection between L5 and S1 is deformed, its rotated in a way that pinches my sciatic nerve. So...I have no idea what that means. I may be able to get steroid shots or epidural shots to lessen the inflammation and not cause the pain but in the end they will have to fuse that joint in surgery. Obviously Im not in enough pain now to need the surgery, I think that after my c-section I lost all core body strength and with being 15lbs overweight still..its just too much for my back. So now I am trying to really take care of myself, get the weight off but more importantly get my muscles back in shape so I can support my back again without pain. SO hopefully that takes only 2 months and the doc says go ahead and try for that second kid...Well, wishful thinking :)

So I finally got Alyssa on a sippy cup! She still takes the baba before and after nap and bed time but I honestly think I can stop with that too. She started bringing me her sippy to tip it up right to drink from so one day when the 2 sippy cups she was using were getting sanitized and washed I put her milk in the sippy with a straw and she is a happy girl :) Also I can see 4 molars breaking through the skin! All at once, and no k9's yet...she is just skipping those and going straight to molars haha, and she cant do just one at a time, she gets 4!!

Ok...Im rambling...Ill add some pictures and then go do some more pushups cuz Im badass like that :)

The first year of my firstborn

Its 3 days before Alyssa's first birthday and I have been reflecting...Seriously this has been by far the best year of my life! Awaiting Alyssa's arrival was so exciting, planning the life that we wanted, Jason and I day dreaming about who she would look like, how she would act, who she would become. Such an amazing feeling, knowing you are about to see this creature that you have been feeling for so long.

36 Weeks Preggo

"Your first breathe took ours away"

Dear Alyssa, My Pumpkin Muffin, Booger Butt, Troll, Monster,

You are my hearts joy. Everyday I look forward to seeing you, listening to you, smelling you, and just holding you. I spend all my time on the floor just so I can be closer to you. When you are sad or scared my heart breaks but I know that you must endure those emotions to become the woman I cant wait to meet! This year has brought a whole new experience, not just with everything that you have learned, but learning also who I am as a mother. I am changing everyday just like you. We are experiencing this together. The bond between mother and daughter is sacred and I am so proud to see you grow up! You have always been one step ahead of us and I am kinda dreading the tween years because I think you are going to be too smart for your own good. I cant wait to hold your hand through all of life's moments. Knowing we are making memories everyday. I love seeing you with your grandparents and seeing them light up every time you are in the room, or make them laugh. You have touched this family in a way that you will only understand when you have your own baby and see it for yourself. You have a smile and 'crinkle face' that makes strangers stop and smile, you have a laugh that takes a while to get out, but once you do, it makes my eyes fill up with happy tears. I can go on and on but I don't think I will ever be able to tell you how you have changed me. Words cannot describe the feelings I have felt this last year. I don't want to say that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, but I can say that every day we are together will be the best day ever. I know some day in the future you will be independent and beautiful and every fathers worst nightmare, and you will tell me to just let you go, and I will. But inside I will be breaking, you will be such an amazing woman! You will be successful in anything you do and you will make me proud. hard to imagine I will be even more proud of you then, than I am right now. Hard to imagine seeing you head off to preschool, then high school then college (god forbid its out of state!!), maybe walk down the aisle, or travel Europe for a year, anything you do, I will always be right here, waiting for you to come tell me about it :) I love you so much! So much. Happy First Birthday!

Love,

Mom