Its 3 days before Alyssa's first birthday and I have been reflecting...Seriously this has been by far the best year of my life! Awaiting Alyssa's arrival was so exciting, planning the life that we wanted, Jason and I day dreaming about who she would look like, how she would act, who she would become. Such an amazing feeling, knowing you are about to see this creature that you have been feeling for so long.
36 Weeks Preggo
"Your first breathe took ours away"
Dear Alyssa, My Pumpkin Muffin, Booger Butt, Troll, Monster,
You are my hearts joy. Everyday I look forward to seeing you, listening to you, smelling you, and just holding you. I spend all my time on the floor just so I can be closer to you. When you are sad or scared my heart breaks but I know that you must endure those emotions to become the woman I cant wait to meet! This year has brought a whole new experience, not just with everything that you have learned, but learning also who I am as a mother. I am changing everyday just like you. We are experiencing this together. The bond between mother and daughter is sacred and I am so proud to see you grow up! You have always been one step ahead of us and I am kinda dreading the tween years because I think you are going to be too smart for your own good. I cant wait to hold your hand through all of life's moments. Knowing we are making memories everyday. I love seeing you with your grandparents and seeing them light up every time you are in the room, or make them laugh. You have touched this family in a way that you will only understand when you have your own baby and see it for yourself. You have a smile and 'crinkle face' that makes strangers stop and smile, you have a laugh that takes a while to get out, but once you do, it makes my eyes fill up with happy tears. I can go on and on but I don't think I will ever be able to tell you how you have changed me. Words cannot describe the feelings I have felt this last year. I don't want to say that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, but I can say that every day we are together will be the best day ever. I know some day in the future you will be independent and beautiful and every fathers worst nightmare, and you will tell me to just let you go, and I will. But inside I will be breaking, you will be such an amazing woman! You will be successful in anything you do and you will make me proud. hard to imagine I will be even more proud of you then, than I am right now. Hard to imagine seeing you head off to preschool, then high school then college (god forbid its out of state!!), maybe walk down the aisle, or travel Europe for a year, anything you do, I will always be right here, waiting for you to come tell me about it :) I love you so much! So much. Happy First Birthday!
Love,
Mom
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