So, I have about 6 more weeks here in the military. And Im pretty much scared shitless!! I have had 2 full breakdowns so far. And I dont mean little 'oh no! what was I thinking??' breakdowns, but full, sobbing on the bathroom floor breakdowns.
I hate change. No wait, I HATE change. I love my nice, stable, cushy life. I love my one bedroom apartment. I love being able to buy the good coffee instead of the jug O' Folgers. I love knowing all the roads and seeing people I know while in town. But I HATE the unknown. I hate not knowing if Jason is getting stationed overseas. I hate not knowing if I can even save enough money to move to whereever he gets stationed. I hate not knowing how long I can actually put up with Reno.
My plan so far-- Move home to mommy and daddys spare bedroom. Mom is STOKED! Collect unemployment. Hey, I deserve it! I busted my ass in a life I hated for 6 years! Now I get to relax and breathe for a while. Ill be in Reno while Jason is in Basic and Tech school so it wont be too bad. I get to be home for my brothers wedding and my cousins baby! Im pretty excited to catch up on these events after all the other ones I missed while I was away :( Anyways- Jason will get stationed somewhere fabulous! We are hoping Seattle, Denver or anywhere in Florida. And I will apply for my X Ray Tech program and move to school. Jason will be living in the ghetto fabulous dorms and we will be just fine. Or not, but either way, Ill be going to school and Ill figure the rest out later LOL.
So, what do you think? 6 month break, move to somewhere to go to the program I really want to get into...NICE!
Gosh, if only life were easy and we were given directions to the map of "life" were supposed to follow. I know what you mean and feel right now in a totally different sense. Its so crazy not knowing what the future may hold, student teaching with no pay, working lots of long and hard hours jus to hear "budget cut this, and budget cut that..." BUT.... what we do have is an amazingly strong family and support system. I love you and am with you 100%. Reno is missing its Megs and cant wait for you to come home. Like I have told Caitlin every time since the stroke, "Keep on Keepin on..." Your freakin amaizng!
ReplyDeleteI'm excited for you to be coming back to Reno - as well as a bunch of other people I can count on my fingers! Just keep an open mind and enjoy life, it's all we got. :)
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